"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Hello? Hello? Hello? Is there any body out there...out there.
This is just a quick shout out to all of the people I am following. Where the hell are you guys??? I miss your writing. BLOG MORE, PLEASE!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
This is why there is an adult content warning on this blog.
You guys are not even gonna believe this shit.
I got a phone call today around 4. I pick up, and some guy says "Hi. This is Travis. I got your number off of the bathroom wall at the truck stop and it said on the wall that you would give me a blow job." As if the bathroom wall read specifically "Hey, Travis! Call 867-5309 and the chick will give you a blow job."
Anyway, I proceeded to tell "Travis" (like that's even his real name) that there was not a rats ass of a chance in hell that he was gonna be getting ANYTHING from this bitch. He went on to beg, at which point I lied and told him that I was married to a very large, angry man. He then told me that he was more sensitive than my (fictitious) husband, and maybe we would have a good time together. I guess he assumed I may want to ride off into the sunset with him, side by side in his big rig. At that point I decided to go ahead and extend my lie, by saying "and I'm pregnant. What kind of person would that make you?" His response, "Oh, OK. Then I should just wait a few months and call you back?"
"Hell to the NO, Travis!!! FORGET MY NUMBER, and a good exercise to help you forget it would be to take your vile ass back in the bathroom with a sharpie and scratch my number off of the fucking wall!" Click.
Now, if you know me at all, you know that this pissed me off. Pissed me off good. So tonight, Hemp (name withheld for his protection and mine) made a trip to the truck stop. I had asked Travis specifically which truck stop he got my number from. So we went there, and Hemp checked the walls and couldn't find my number. I then asked Hemp to escort me into the men's room so that I could get a look-see for myself. I did not find my number, but I did find a lovely piece of artwork depicting an ass (like a butt, not a donkey) with shit (yes, human feces, no.2) smeared as if it were coming out of the anal area. There were many men in the men's room, including a large black man who seemed more afraid of me than he should have. I asked them all if they were "Travis." Not surprisingly, I didn't get any takers on that. We checked all of the showers, and the ladies rooms for good measure. We never found my number, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't there. There were hundreds of entries on the wall and neither Hemp, nor I, were willing to get close enough to look at some of them.
I spoke with the clerk, who promised to go in the bathroom and mark he numbers off of the wall as soon as the other clerk got back from break.
I do not know if it was a prank call, or if "Travis" really did get my number off of the bathroom wall. Either way, it was weird as hell. I have been getting a lot of calls from private numbers, which I normally do not answer, but have lately because I am expecting packages, and there is always a chance that the FedEx guy might call. I see my phone number changing in the near future.
Travis, if you are reading this, go blow yourself.
I got a phone call today around 4. I pick up, and some guy says "Hi. This is Travis. I got your number off of the bathroom wall at the truck stop and it said on the wall that you would give me a blow job." As if the bathroom wall read specifically "Hey, Travis! Call 867-5309 and the chick will give you a blow job."
Anyway, I proceeded to tell "Travis" (like that's even his real name) that there was not a rats ass of a chance in hell that he was gonna be getting ANYTHING from this bitch. He went on to beg, at which point I lied and told him that I was married to a very large, angry man. He then told me that he was more sensitive than my (fictitious) husband, and maybe we would have a good time together. I guess he assumed I may want to ride off into the sunset with him, side by side in his big rig. At that point I decided to go ahead and extend my lie, by saying "and I'm pregnant. What kind of person would that make you?" His response, "Oh, OK. Then I should just wait a few months and call you back?"
"Hell to the NO, Travis!!! FORGET MY NUMBER, and a good exercise to help you forget it would be to take your vile ass back in the bathroom with a sharpie and scratch my number off of the fucking wall!" Click.
Now, if you know me at all, you know that this pissed me off. Pissed me off good. So tonight, Hemp (name withheld for his protection and mine) made a trip to the truck stop. I had asked Travis specifically which truck stop he got my number from. So we went there, and Hemp checked the walls and couldn't find my number. I then asked Hemp to escort me into the men's room so that I could get a look-see for myself. I did not find my number, but I did find a lovely piece of artwork depicting an ass (like a butt, not a donkey) with shit (yes, human feces, no.2) smeared as if it were coming out of the anal area. There were many men in the men's room, including a large black man who seemed more afraid of me than he should have. I asked them all if they were "Travis." Not surprisingly, I didn't get any takers on that. We checked all of the showers, and the ladies rooms for good measure. We never found my number, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't there. There were hundreds of entries on the wall and neither Hemp, nor I, were willing to get close enough to look at some of them.
I spoke with the clerk, who promised to go in the bathroom and mark he numbers off of the wall as soon as the other clerk got back from break.
I do not know if it was a prank call, or if "Travis" really did get my number off of the bathroom wall. Either way, it was weird as hell. I have been getting a lot of calls from private numbers, which I normally do not answer, but have lately because I am expecting packages, and there is always a chance that the FedEx guy might call. I see my phone number changing in the near future.
Travis, if you are reading this, go blow yourself.
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