Hello Darlin'. It's been a looooong time.

Hey guys. Sorry that I have totally let this blog go stale. If any of you have been paying attention, you know this happens from time to time. :p Allow me to do my best to try to catch up from where we left off.

I don't even remember when I last posted anything, and I am too lazy to go back and look. So if I haven't told you already, I'm pregnant!! Matt and I are expecting our first in May 2010 and I could not be more excited. I am 12 weeks along, so almost out of the first trimester. We will find out the sex of the baby sometime around Christmas.

I am already learning that pregnancy has its ups and downs. It's really great to have an excuse to eat like a cow and be lazy. If someone is moving, you don't even have to consider that they might ask you to help. Asking for seconds is the hip thing to do. Bitching is expected, so I will start with that now :) I've been tired almost to the point of being completely useless. I have had a little bit of morning sickness, but thank God that has been few and far between. I constantly feel like I might puke, but most of the time nothing happens. I am happy for that.

Matt has been beyond wonderful with this entire thing. He has kept the house spotless, taken care of the dogs, driven me to Sonic when I know he didn't want to. He is marvelous, despite his sometimes horrid choice of accessories.

So needless to say that is the biggest thing going on right now. Or the tiniest, depending on how you look at it ;) I have a lot of other stuff to say, but I thought I might as well get the major news out of the way first. Now I must simply continue to resist the urge to spend every dime I have on baby stuff. I have been assured that the day will soon arrive when that will no longer be optional :p

I think I'll keep him.

You just have to love a man who puts flowers on your desk before you wake up in the morning.
And he even grew them himself :)

I'm really enjoying your gardening endeavours, Matt. It makes the yard seem so much friendlier. I our little home, our little fur family, and I love you :-)

Happy Birthday Sis :)

Sis, I was gonna send this to you via email but I lost your address. Now everyone gets to see Ebony, and, Sis, you can just steal them from here :) Mikey will know how to do it if you don't already know.

Hope you enjoyed your birthday :)


Eating grass. Ebony's favorite thing to do to pass the time.


I don't think she really likes the flash that much. Or maybe
it was my obnoxious whistling?


Back to eating grass. :)

RiteAid wants the ladies to be more independant.

Earlier today I had to declare a household state of emergency when I realized that I was drinking THE LAST soda in the house. I am trying to quit smoking. If I am depriving my body of all these cigarette chemicals, I'll be damned if I am gonna torture myself by going without carbonated beverages. Screw that.

So I went to RiteAid, because it's close to the house and (warning: too much info starts here) they carry soda and something else that we are out of, KY.

I grabbed my 12 pack of Mountain Dew, and made my way back to the "family planning" section of the store. While looking at the gazillion personal lubricants that they have on the market these days, my eyes drifted a little too far, and I saw that they actually sell vibrators at RiteAid!!!

I'm not talking about a fingertip pleasure machine here. This thing was the real deal. Complete with a "natural contour design" and "discreet carrying pouch." It was manufactured by Durex, the same peeps that make the condoms. It was large. And to show that we have really stepped into a new era here, it was on the third shelf from the bottom, for all to reach, packaged in a bright purple and pink box, with a convenient "look at me!" flap that opened on the front of the box, so that you can take a look at the product.

Vibrator at RiteAid: $19.99
Temptation to buy it and see look on cashier's face: priceless.

I am not offended by this, but I am shocked as shit. I remember back when a woman's personal pleasure needs had to be taken care of via catalog or that sketchy store on Highway 25. It was great when Adam and Eve got and online store. Still, I never thought I would live to see that day when people were selling dildos less than 15 feet away from where my grandmother picks up her Lipitor.

Lack of creativity, obviously

So, I lifted this survey, or whatever you wanna call it, off of Facebook. Thought I would throw it in the blog since I haven't written anything here in a while. Erin tells me she is having AbsolutRachel withdrawals, so something had to be done :)

USING ONLY ONE WORD
(I really hope you guys appreciate how hard it's gonna be for me to answer ANYTHING in one word.)

Where is your cell phone?
Pocket

Your significant other?
Tall

Your hair?
Black

Your mother?
Chocolate

Your father?
Willerwoller

Your favorite thing?
People

Your dream last night?
none

Your favorite drink?
carbonation

Your dream/goal?
bliss

What room are you in?
Living room (That was impossible answer in one word. Not fair!)

Your hobby?
dogs

Your fear?
misery

Where do you want to be in 6 Yrs?
home

Where were you last night?
home

Something that you aren't?
easy

Muffins?
no

Wish list item?
baby

Last thing you did?
play

What are you wearing?
overalls

TV?
TruTV

Pastime:
relaxing

Your pets?
love

Friends?
best

Your Life?
marvelous

Your mood?
exhausted

Missing someone?
always

Smoking?
sure

Your car?
new

Something you're not wearing?
socks

Your favorite store?
CharlotteRusse (sorry, had to make that one word :) )

Your favorite color
pink

When is the last time you cried?
recently

Where do you go to over and over?
Executive (now that's embarrassing, but another 'thing that I am not' is dishonest)

Five people who email me regularly?
(So now they are giving me permission to break the "one word" rule? What the hell.) spam, Verizon, Blogger, Progressive, Richard. (in that order)

My favorite place to eat?
Schlotsky's

Favorite place I'd like to be at right now?
OuterBanks

Because I think I may have promised Abi I would post this

Old, worn out photo from Prom, junior year, 1998. Why didn't someone feed me

Just fine

If this song doesn't make you wanna get up and shake-it, you may need to adjust your Prozac dosage. :)

Thanks for re-introducing me to this song, Gina, and sorry about the pic. I just had to :) Look at the time on the clock!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ETfNxDVlpQ

I Love Being My Brother's Sister

I was about ten years old when my brother, Joe, was born. There is an oddly wonderful, very-difficult-to-describe, different-than-normal sibling experience when you are old enough to remember every milestone in your younger siblings life. You wouldn't know the feeling if you haven't been there, and I am sure there is an equally indescribable feeling that comes from being the younger sibling when there is such a huge age gap. It's something no more special than any other sibling experience, but it is pretty unique.

I'll share a story, so you can get a little bit of a better feel for what I am talking about here. When Joe was about seven years old, he told me that he wanted a brother or sister. My response was "who do you think I am?".

"No, I mean like a real one. One that goes to the same school as me and wants to play with the same stuff."

"If you had a 'real' brother or sister, they probably wouldn't be old enough to take you to the movies, or make pancakes better than mom, and mom wouldn't trust you guys to just wonder off in the woods any place you please."

"Good point."

I'd say we both knew that our age gap was unusual, yet pretty cool. I know I have always been happy with it. Most people don't remember when their brother was born. I do. Vividly. It snowed that day. Do you remember your brothers first day of school? I do. I was so happy that he got the same kindergarten teacher I had ten years prior. And when he learned to walk, when he got old enough to ride in the front seat, when he was first trusted to cook something without burning the house down, I was there. I remember seeing the following absolutely precious keepsake as it was being made.



Today I got to make another really cool memory. And I have a feeling this one is gonna stick too. I took Joe to get his learner's permit today. I'll be the first to admit that the thought of Joe being able to drive has always terrified me. Not because I expected that he would be a bad driver, but because there are SO many other bad drivers, and his world would be open to so many more unimaginable dangers than it previously had been. But as I sat in the waiting room of the DMV while he took the test, I was thrilled and nervous and excited for Joe, not me. Sitting there wondering if he passed the test was getting to me, and finally I got up and took a peek into the office, where I saw Joe sitting in front of the camera. HE PASSED!!

I was so happy for him! I immediately went into "that's my little brother!!!" mode. I noticed the guy at the front desk was distracted, so I took the chance to mosey straight past him into the office. I was like the obnoxious mom at the school play. The one who creeps up to the very edge of the stage to get a perfect picture. Yes, I took his picture at the DMV, and as you can see, he was clearly expressing his desire not to have me flashing pics with my pinkberry.



Yep. I have many pictures with this look on Joe's face. The look that says, "Rachel, people aren't allowed to come up on the stage and take pictures!". I have embarrassed myself, and Joe, (well, mom and dad too) many a'time by making a total ass out of myself to get a shot of a milestone. Why would I act any different at a government run agency when Joe is legally an adult? This poor child has and always will have the burden of his sister following him with a camera. I cherish the memories too much not to capture them. Embarrassment, rules and regulations, even risk of arrest, would be unlikely to stop me. One day I will be all old, and the memories may start to fade, but at least I will have them well documented, in case I need to jog my memory a bit. Sorry, Joe, but I do it out of love:)

Here is another picture for you, just for shits and giggles.



Congratulations Joe. I love you and I am so proud of you. You are growing up, but you'll always be my "little brother". :)

This makes my heart all warm and smiley

I apologize for the fact that I am not sharp enough to figure out how to steal a video from YouTube and post it on the blog. You'll just have to deal with good ol' fashion links.

I found this video the other day and I love it. It's a group of Marines having a little fun at work in Iraq. These men are someones kids, husbands, brothers, etc. They are in some really sucky conditions over there, to say the least, and making a huge sacrifice for us. (Thank you!) Still, they manage to keep their sense of humor and wit in tact, which makes me feel silly for letting anything get me bent out of shape. It truly is heartwarming. I hope that the guys in this video are still safe, wherever they may be now. Most of all, I hope they are home.

See if you can guess which one is my fave :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX5ZVC1YY1k

Celebrations

The past few weeks have been scattered with a lot of celebrations and not a lot of blog posts. Forgive me as I try to catch up :)

We'll start with Memorial Day.


The Memorial Day celebration at Heather and John's
house (thanks for hosting us, guys!!)was really a celebration
of many, many things. Here, Kasey listens patiently as Connie
reads the list of things that we were celebrating (in no particular order).

• Memorial Day
• Connie's Birthday
• Kasey's birthday (early)
• My birthday (late)
• Mother's Day (late)
• Heather getting the breathalyzer taken out of her car
• Kasey successfully completing his DUI classes
• Me, Connie, Heather and Erin all getting new cars
• The death of Matt's cancer

We'll use just about any excuse to fire up the grill :)


Matt's cancer free gift :)


Erin and me. Had to get a picture together
while she still has her hair dark :p


Random Memorial Day ducks in our front yard

Dad's birthday was right after Memorial Day, and we did celebrate, but believe it or not, I didn't get any pictures!! So here is a nice retro shot of dad for you to enjoy.


Dear ol' dad, 1975. Happy Birthday again, daddy. Love you :)

Saturday was Waylon's Birthday. My fur baby is 4!! I can't believe it. Seems like the past four years have flown past. Who knew what a ride I was in for when I brought this dog into my home? He has been a wonderful companion, despite his quirks and less-than-perfect behavior. Marley has nothing on this dog. Seriously. Regardless, I love him to pieces.

Yes, I throw birthday parties for my dog :)


This is NOT how I envisioned the cake in my head, but this
IS how it turned out in reality. I'm gonna have to become
less creative or better skilled at cake decorating (mom, help me!!)
before I have a real child. A human 4 year old would be
ridiculed through high school after their friends saw this cake.
Waylon's friends didn't seem to mind.


My baby brother is not a baby anymore :(
He has grown up into a great guy though,
nice enough to humor me by coming to my
dog's birthday party :)



Waylon is thinking "Want cake NOW!!" Elena is patiently
waiting for us to stop singing, so she can make a wish for
Waylon and blow out the candle.


Look close enough and you can see an entire cupcake in
his mouth. (Spare me the comments about how unhealthy
this is, please. You only turn 4 once.)


Waylon's buddy Winnie.

And finally, here are some pics of the weenie roast at Matt's parent's house today. No specific reason to celebrate but it is not that often that we are able to get so many members of the clan together at once. And if you think about it, there is a lot to celebrate in that neck of the woods. Several cancer survivors, a new grandbaby for Ellen (Elizabeth and Andrew's son, James, who would have been more appropriately named "Absolutely Adorable"), John's birthday was last week and it's almost time for the younguns to be free from school for the summer.


We hadn't seen Katie in ages :)


So peaceful


Evidently it's damn near impossible for me
to do a blog post with this many pictures without
including a gratuitous self-portrait of myself
with Matt. I just love him so :)


Should we really allow this kid to have a stick
with not one, but two, sharp, metal prongs on
the end? Eh, why not?

I promise, one of these days I am gonna get off my lazy ass and actually write a blog entry instead of just flooding you guys with pics. Maybe. :p

Future Candy Stripers of America

Don't worry, Matt is fine. These pictures are from a few weeks ago, when Matt was getting a blood transfusion before he was finished with chemo. Elena and I decided it would be fun to go get Happy Meals and take them to the hospital. Elena was hellbent on the idea that a toy, along with the sight of her, would make Matt all better. Maybe she was right :)


Anticipation


The Happy Meal toys sucked, so we had to improvise :)


Wasting medical supplies in the name of fun.


Matt and Elena, and the tattoos they gave each other.


Sleepy? Elena had a nap that day. I did not :p

Sippin' & Dippin'

North Carolina passed a law last week prohibiting smoking in public places. I am not sure whether the law applies to ALL public places, or just indoors. Either way, the law states that it is unfair to force a restaurant worker to participate in "passive smoking" (formerly known as "being exposed to second-hand smoke").

Erin is not ready to make nice on this one yet. So like a true tobacco addict, she's found a way to skirt the law. It's probably not a coincidence that she got the idea to start dipping about two days after she attended her first NASCAR race. Dippin' ain't easy. There are all kinds of issues, other than the obvious ones, like the fact that tobacco doesn't stick together that well, so the dip falls out, and if you forget to spit, you'll barf. Regardless, I have a feeling she'll be a skilled pro by the time the new law takes effect next January, and ready to spit some Skoal in Bev Perdue's eye if given the chance.

Whether you agree or disagree, I still think she should get an A for dedication. Know your rights, ya'll. :)

No Mo Chemo

Collective sigh of relief

It's official!!!! We got Matt's CT results today and his cancer is in remission :)

I'm sure I will end up writing more about this later, getting into more details and reflecting/rambling on some things. Not today.

Today's word of the day is "gratitude".

Songs that remind me of you

It's late. I'm bored.

I've been sitting here listening to my Pandora station. Being able to hear is a wonderful thing, you know? There are so many songs that take me back so a certain place or time or remind me of someone. So I thought it would be kinda fun to share a few songs that remind me of people. I don't wanna hear any bitching from anyone who doesn't like "their" song. I'm 28. I can't change these memory associations, or control what they developed in the first place. The song just reminds me of you for some reason. I'll try to add some sidenotes about where I think the association between person and song developed (but with this mind of mine, who the hell knows?). For some of you, it will be hard/inaccurate to name just one song, but I don't have all night. Also, there is no way that I could list everyone in one post. So if you aren't listed, don't be offended. I'll have to continue in another post later. Enjoy, and feel free to let me know if you have a song that reminds you of me. I think it would be neat :)

Mom: Mariah Carey, I'll be there. Reminds me of Mom because when I was a child she told me to think of her when I heard this song. Pretty simple :P http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52d20PK_Kyk

Dad always sang a lot when I was a kid. Mostly songs to make me laugh or embarass me, but this one was my favorite :) The Hollies, The Air That I Breathe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7S8-Iewi0&feature=related

Joe: The Beatles, In My Life. I apologize for the horrible spelling at the beginning of this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI0Q8ytD44Y

Gina: Rolling Stones, You Can't Always Get What You Want. But if you try sometimes, you might just find, I love you enough not to tell the world why this is your song, because I know that you already know why :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0jyKabLHVc

Brandon: Elton John, I Wan't Love. Robert Downey, Jr. kinda looks like Brandon in the video. And I just LOVE Elton :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_u6l7EsQMc

Matt: Here is one you wouldn't expect, since you and I have had this talk before. This one reminds me of some damn good times :). Toby Keith(sorry, Gina), I Love This Bar. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q85rPq1u9sc

Erin: Duh. Janis Joplin, Me and Bobby McGee. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FMhnl0__Vo . Good audio, nothing like how we do it, but at least the Janis video montage is cool.

Lex: Two days past 18, baby. Two fuckin days. It's a shame. I'm not kidding. Bring our troops home ASAP, please?. Sorry, you know I can't pass up a chance to give an unsolicited opinion :P Dixie Chicks, Travelin' Soldier. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLBgmbXBOb8

Elena: The Beatles, Get Back. Honey, you loved it when I sang this song when you were a baby. Always got a giggle with this one. Not sure if she was laughing at my singing or dancing?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlWFpdPX45g

I've saved the best for last. :) World's Cheesiest Song

Steven Corn: You already know, don't you? Celine Dion, Because You Loved Me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji-GONSfwnE . You gotta see it, Steven. Celine is so full of her own shit in this video.

Alright, that's all I've got in me tonight. G'night.

A promise is a promise

So, most of you probably already know that I promised Matt back in March (when we thought that the surgery would most likely catch all the cancer) that if he had to have chemo, then I would let him do whatever he wanted with my hair. For the past few years, I have been repeating a cycle of growing my hair long enough to donate to Locks of Love, and then having it chopped off. For the past few years, Matt has begged me to try different things with my hair, but I don't really care that much about my hair, and don't like to spend time or money on it. So I thought that if Matt had to do chemo (and lose his eyebrows and eyelashes, his biggest fear) then it would be proper to do my own little "Locks of Love" project a bit closer to home. Instead of donating my hair, I promised to get it cut, colored, permed, whatever Matt wanted, at the hands of a well trained professional.

That's not exactly how it worked out. First, Matt still has not lost his eyebrows OR eyelashes. But, like the title says, a promise is a promise. I have learned my lesson. I should have been more specific. "If your eyebrows fall out, you can have total reign over my hair" would have been better. Second, we have NOT had the time to find a well trained professional, and I started getting really sick of my hair as it started getting hotter outside. Third, it's been kinda boring around here lately.

So the other night, we decided to throw caution to the wind, and I let Matt take a pair of scissors to my locks*. My lovely lady locks. I have to say it was fun. At first Matt was scared, but after a few times of me repeating "I don't care if you screw it up, I'll just shave it off, I've done it before, and you may never cut hair again, so enjoy yourself" he loosened up and we had a blast, along with just a few scary moments when Matt went hog-wild and almost stabbed me with the scissors. Ok, he did stab me with the scissors*, but he didn't draw blood, so we're cool. And of course we got some funny pics :)

*I know you are wondering. We were totally sober. I swear. :)


The look in my eyes makes me pretty
sure that this pic was shot after the
accidental stabbing.



But it didn't turn out half bad. I like it a lot :) It's very
layery and and it looks quite nice when rockin' the dogwood
blossom, which just happens to be the state flower (or is
it tree?) for NC. My 4th grade teacher would be ashamed.

It me birthday yesterday!!

Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes my way in one way, shape or form yesterday. Mad props to Liz, who commented via the blog ;)

I had a great birthday. I sure all of you can guess that I was ready to kiss 27 goodbye and watch the door hit it in the ass on the way out, so needless to say, I was very excited about my birthday this year. 27 sucked. Hopefully 28 will be much better. 27 was full of heartache. It is a year that I will never forget mostly for negative reasons. Two failed pregnancies, dad's tumor, Matt's cancer, and a couple of deaths in the family are just the first things that pop into mind when I think about what has happened in my life since my 27th birthday. I could probably think of more sad stuff, but who wants to sit around and do that?

The point is, even though it sucked, I have learned a lot in the last year about happiness, love, gratitude, compassion and how to take what you life gives you and do the best that you can with it. There are a lot of things that have happenned that made me want to run for the hills and become a total recluse so that the world couldn't get me anymore. Even though it wasn't the best year ever, I am thankful to have lived through it and for having the chance to see strength and love in myself and the people around me. I always knew that it existed, but now I know better than before that it is solid, and knowing that is a good feeling. It's the only measure of safety I can have in this totally unpredictable world. When I think about all that I have learned this year, about appreciation, hidden strength, gratitude, sympathy, peace, and what is really important, using the word "thankful" seems trite.

Even though life often seems like an episode of "As The World Turns", I am ready for my next trip around the sun and the joy that I hope it brings. Happy Birthday to me :)



Celebrating with the family. Judging by the look on
Mamaw's face, I think I may have dropped an F-bomb
right before Matt shot this pic. Mamaw has started a new policy:
each time I say that word, it's costing me a quarter. Now
the economy is hitting me EXTRA hard :b


Heather remembered to bring the
Sesame Street shirt that says "Party
Animal" on the front, and "It me birthday"
on the back. I think I made her wear it
for two birthdays, so happy that she
remembered to carry on the tradition :)


With Waylon




Erin on balloon duty. I think she has a new
sympathy for Brenda now :) (sorry, inside
joke, but I couldn't resist.)

Chemo with a side of Blackberry

So, this is my first attempt at posting a blog entry from my Blackberry since I became the proud owner of a pretty, pink Blackberry last week. I am absolutely in love with this thing! I can get on the internet ANYWHERE!!!

I went out earlier to get us some lunch and now I've been sitting here for a while watching Matt sleep through his chemo. The nurse is changing the IV bags. All of this while I work on my blog. Multi-tasking just became pocket-sized. Technology is amazing, kids. :)

Stayed tuned for inevitable future entries about my development of carpal tunnel syndrome and possible family intervention for my Blackberry addiction. This thing is better than crack. Well, I've never done crack, but I can't imagine any non-living thing that could be more fun than this (right now, at least), and it is surely equally addictive. :)

Family Outing

I'm too tired and lazy to write. Matt is doing well. Enjoy the pictures from our trip to the zoo. We make such a lovely little blended family. I had a great time and hope to be able to do it again soon.

Hope all of you are well :)



John Mills (Matt's youngest brother, 9), Elena (my neice,
Gina's daughter, 3) and Matt (the best room mate I have
ever had :b, 27). The playground was SO cool.


We brought the wheelchair because Matt's
Neupogen shots make his bones hurt like
hell, it was 85 degrees and sunny, and
frankly, it just made me feel better to take
it and know that the chances of Matt hitting
the pavement would be lessened at least
50%. Immediately upon arrival at the zoo,
it became clear that the wheelchair would
be the kids' favorite attraction. We loaded
that thing like a pack mule, and never had
a shortage of ready volunteers to push. I'll never
take a bunch of kids to the zoo without one
again. It was a fuckin life saver. In this picture,
Lex is checking out (and bitching about) the
accessability of the zoo playground. The lady
behind him looks freaked out.



Elena gets a hand from Uncle Matt



Lex rides the artwork. He'll ride anything.



Me with Gina (sister-in-law, bff)



Matt making sure the kids walk the line.



John climbing the spider web thing. This
pole is WAY taller than it looks.



The whole crew, Minus Lex, at our post-playground/pre-
zoo picnic. (Someone has to take the pictures :b ) Elena,
Matt, John, Gina, Joe (my little bro) and me.



Elena with giant strawberry.



Elena crashing John into a trash can. They were helping
with picnic clean-up.



John forgot to bring gas money, so we put
his ass to work. Just kidding. Major thanks
to both little brothers, Joe and John. They
we ON TOP of the wheelchair pushing. They
should go into a wheelchair pushing business
together. Seriously.



And, we're off to the zoo :)



God, I love this kid. My baby Brandon girl.
*This lovely moment was later ruined when
Elena noticed that one elephant was catching
another elephants poop in it's mouth and
eating it.



Me: "This lion's ass is HOT!"
Elena: "Lion has a hot ass"
Me: "no, no, hiney, Honey, say hiney."



We LOVE the giant turtles!!



Looks like a damn good argument for evolution if you ask
me. :P



The mommy orangutan hangs out with her face smooshed
against the glass with the most pathetic "get me the hell
out of here" look on her face. It's heart-breaking.



Cotton candy/ice cream break #1



love



No. I was not the one who fed the monkey the azalea that
was in my hair.



You can see Elena's head in the bottom of this pic. She was
hell-bent on seeing baby giraffes and disappointed to find
out that there weren't any. She said, "No babies? That's
so sad." Lex replies, "It's not always sad for a couple not to
have babies. Some people don't want children for one reason
or the other." Lex, the constant teacher.



Last ice cream stop at the end of the day. Elena got a
Dora the Explorer ice cream thingy that looked a LOT
like Elena.