Pins and Needles

The parents and I left town on Thursday to go to Duke University to see a neurosurgeon about ATGIAK (if you don't know what that acronym means, see previous post titled "Ya Vo, Motherfucker, Ya Vo"). I'll admit, I was a bit worried about the trip. What will the doctor say? Will they admit dad right away? Is the alignment on the car gonna screw up? (Don't ask, I can't tell you why I worry about that obsessively on all road trips.) Will dad be ok if I smoke in the car on the way down there? Ok, so the last worry is a bit self-centered, but it's a 4 and a half hour drive, and I'm being honest here.

I was hoping that the doctor would just tell us that ATGIAK disappeared. That would have been the best case scenario, but of course I knew that wasn't going to happen. Still, it can't hurt to hope. Anyway, I don't think that anyone with realistic expectations would be able to think that our trip could have gone any better than it actually did. We saw the doctor Friday. He and his nurse practitioner were both amazing. He will be removing ATGIAK in early September (the 4th, but that date isn't set in stone yet). It will be a long surgery, and risky, but the surgeon seemed confident that he could remove all of ATGIAK without major complications. I trust him. He made eye contact with us. That means a lot in the medical world.

So now we wait. Again. But I have to admit, it feels a lot better now that we actually know what we are waiting for. It's scary, but it feels good to finally have a game plan. Not to mention the fact that I feel like dad's brain is in great hands with the doctor at Duke.

During the exam, the nurse practitioner poked dad (gently, everything this woman does is done gently) all over his left side with a safety pin. She wanted to know if he could tell, with his eyes closed, whether she was poking him with the sharp end or the rounded end. I took that safety pin when we left. I intend to wear it until dad can pass that test. When that day arrives, I'm going to poke the hell out him with it out of sheer happiness. :) I know. It's weird, but I just felt compelled to keep the safety pin for some reason. I'm not really gonna stab him with it, but I do feel that it's a bit symbolic of the problem, and will also be symbolic in knowing when the problem is resolved. Doctors want MRIs and Arteriograms, but I cant read that crap. The safety pin test tells me more, while we wait for the docs to tell us what their fancier tests say.

I'll keep you posted if anything new pops up. Otherwise, thank you to everyone for all the well-wishes and prayers, and keep 'em comin'. :) You guys have no idea how helpful it really is.

Sidenote: Before Thursday I hadn't been out of town with my parents in at least 15 years. Also, I think I have picked up some kind of illness involving lots of snot and tiredness. When I am feeling more energetic I will post more about the actual trip itself, which was interesting and entertaining despite our cause for going on the trip in the first place.

The Next Step

So Dad saw his neurologist Monday. He told us that he didnt think that they could remove as much of the tumor at Mission as they could at Duke, so we are off to Duke on Thursday. His appointment is Friday morning.

I am optimistic. I looked up dad's doctor at Duke and he seems to be highly credentialed (is that a word?) and has won all kinds of awards and stuff. I don't know if we will just be talking to the doctor and then coming home Friday or if they will admit him for testing or surgery right away. So, in other words, I might be out of town for one night or I could be away indefinately. I am hoping that they get on the whole removal thing fast, so that dad can get to feeling better faster, but we'll just have to see what happens.

I'll keep you updated.

Two Out of Three Ain't as Good as I Thought it Was, Still Ain't Bad

I was chatting on messenger with my friend Gina last night. I had drank a glass of wine. I was feelin alright. I decided to mention to Gina how much I love Meatloaf. The artist, not the food. She disagreed, "I like meatloaf. The food, not the artist."

On the way home from Cocula the other day I heard "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad." God, I love that song. Always thought it was one of the sweetest love songs of all time. Wouldn't if feel great to hear someone say to you, "I want you, I need you, and there ain't no way I'm ever gonna leave you"? Isn' t that what we all want? Unconditional love? How can Gina hate that? Anyway, it had been rolling around my head, and flying obnoxiously out of my mouth, a lot. Last night, while I was chatting with Gina, I decided to look up the lyrics. I thought, if the chorus is so good, I bet reading the song in its entirety would be like beautiful poetry.

Once I started reading the lyrics, that idea flew out the window like a bat out of Hell. (Sorry, couldn't resist the pun.)

All these years I've been belting out, "I want you, I need you, and there ain't know way I'm ever gonna LEAVE you." I always wondered what the hell he meant with the next line, "So don't be sad, don't be sad, two out of three ain't bad." But I thought maybe he was high when he wrote it. Or maybe he thought that she didn't feel the same way about him, (with all that wantin and needin and never leavin stuff) but he was willing to cut his losses and take two out of three if she thought she could handle that. You know, lighten the load a little. I'm reading the lyrics last night, and there in print, so damn obvious, "I want you, I need you, but there ain't now way I'm ever gonna LOVE you". AAARRGGGHHH!!!!!!! That's why Gina hates this asshole!

I feel totally betrayed. Well maybe not totally.

It's still a love song, but not at all the one I thought it was all these years. I thought he was professing his undying love TO someone. Really, he is professing his undying love FOR someone else TO a woman who is madly in love with him. He's flat out saying, "You love me but I don't love you." Damn. That's some harsh shit to say to someone. But the loaf is hurting too, you know? And at least he is being honest with this girl. He just isn't saying the romantic mush I thought he was. Still beautiful poetry.

Here's a link to the lyrics. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/meat+loaf/two+out+of+three+aint+bad_20091283.html

I still like the artist more than the food. He's got some catchy tunes, and thats better than a wad of ground beef and ketchup.

By the way... meatloaf. meat loaf. one word or two?

Lovely Rita, Meter Maid

I went with my friend, Lex, VERY early this morning to adopt a dog from the animal shelter. I thought that it would be something fun and positive, and I am always up for any kind of shopping for dogs. There is nothing more fun than bringing a dog home and letting them become a part of your family. He has been talking about getting a dog for a while, and he has a beautiful cabin in the woods of Saluda that would be a paradise for anything furry with four legs.

When we got to the shelter, Lex was immediatly smitten with a lovely Mutt named Susie. He HAD to have her. The feeling was mutual. From the second that she was taken out to of the kennel so that Lex could walk her around and get a feel for her personality she was stuck to him like glue and wouldn't leave his side. We went through all the paperwork and before we knew it we had Susie in the car and ready to see her new home. Of course, the name Susie just had to go. I am very close to a human Suzi, so that would have been weird. Plus the name just didnt fit her. Lex settled on Rita, which strangely fits :) Rita had only been in the shelter for three days, she was reliqueshed (I'm sure I spelled that wrong) by her family for reasons that we dont know. She's cute as a button, but needs to fatten up a little :) She LOVES riding in the car, as you can see:) It is amazing how quikly she has bonded to Lex and I can't wait for her to meet our dogs, Waylon and Audrey. I have a feeling that she and Waylon are gonna be best buds. She comes when you call her, hopefully she will teach Waylon how to do that!

Congratulations Lex and Rita. Who said there's no such thing as love at first sight?

Oops

Hey guys. Just realized that I had my comments settings messed up. Somehow I managed to set it up so that I couldn't receive any comments, but I fixed it. So comment away!!

Good Times in the Meantime :)

Dad and his buddy from work, Doyce, who drove all the way from Rutherford County to come by and "shoot the shit."

Dad's not real big on shirts, never has been. If you are bothered by that, see the adult content warning :)

Hurry up and wait

Right now, my life is in the waiting room, This picture of Matt pretty much sums up my feelings about it. Right now I'm waiting, exhausted, ready to go already. Dad had his contrast MRI done yesterday, but we still havent gotten any test results. Trust me, that has nothing to do with a lack of nagging on mom's part. If I know her well, she has called the doctor, called the doctor, and called that damn doctor again. I don't blame her. I'd do the same for sure. Dad was wore out from the test yesterday, but from what mom has told me he is feeling better today. Like I said, we are all sitting in Life's waiting room, and when we get called back, I'll be sure to keep everyone updated.

I also want to say thanks for everyone's concern. It means a lot. Keep sending Dad good mojo :)

Ya vo, motherfucker, ya vo

Life has a way of teaching you what matters. Wednesday was a bitch of a day. The jeep broke down at the gas station. Amazingly, Glen Ramo pops up out of nowhere, insults my intellegence once or twice, as usual, then offers me a ride home. Once in the van he decides he's rather drive me to my parents house. Wtf?? Anyway, the point is that it was the day before payday and something was happenning that was gonna eat my entire fuckin check as usual. I was pissed, but strangely not as much as I would have expected. Subconcious preparation for what was to come.

Then Thursday decided to teach me how shit can really suck. I don't want to go into a lot of details because its hard for me to talk about it, but while I was eating at Cracker Barrel Thursday, smoking a cigarette, sipping a coke, thinking "life could be worse", it did get worse. I got a call from my mom telling me to drive to Mission and meet her there, "Dad has a brain tumor". That'll get a bitch moving.

We don't know a lot about dads tumor, and just typing "dads tumor" makes me want to vomit. From here on out we'll just call it "about to get its ass kicked", since I am trying to remain positive, or Atgiak for short. They let dad home for the weekend. Ever since 3:32 pm on Thursday, I have wanted to be around him non-stop, and without having my car out of the shop that hasn't been possible. We'll know more on Monday when dad has a contrast MRI to get a better look at Atgiak. He will probably be sent to a larger hospital than Mission to kick atgiak's ass.

I'm not one to cry my sorrows from the rooftop, but I am blogging about this because only the people closest to me have access to this blog so I figure you guys should know whats going on. I dont give a damn what your particular spiritual beliefs are but please send whatever good mojo you can muster up to my dad. He doesn't deserve this shit.