Calabash Seafood Dinner for Thrifty, Busy People (or Cheap, Lazy People)

Ingredients:

• One box Ore-Ida frozen french fries, Crinkle Cut or Straight

• One box frozen popcorn shrimp (don't get the shrimp poppers. It's hard for thrifty people to resist them, but they are nasty. Trust me.)

• One bag slaw mix. If you aren't too busy you can replace this with hand cut cabbage, but I can not be held responsible for any time that adds to this recipe

• Mayo

• Salt

• Sugar

Time needed to complete meal: 12 minutes max (not including oven preheat time)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Light cigarette and wait. Cover baking sheet with foil so that you won't have to wash it later (you might be busy later). Put desired amount of shrimp on baking sheet. When the oven is preheated, put shrimp in oven and set timer for 11 minutes. Remove lid from box of fries. Smash lid onto fries so that they won't get mushy. Place fries in microwave and set TIMER (you aren't cooking these babies yet) for 7 minutes. Dump slaw mix into bowl with lid, add whatever amount of mayo you desire, season with sugar and salt. Spill salt, throw dash of salt over left shoulder using right hand. Put lid on bowl and shake like hell. Slaw is ready to serve. When the microwave beeps, set it on high and cook fries in microwave for four minutes. Finish cigarette and pour glass of wine. Microwave and oven should beep simultaneously. Remove fries from microwave and dump on plate. Remove shrimp from oven and dump on plate. Dump some slaw on plate. Serve with ketchup, cocktail or tarter sauce. Eat.