Ok, I didn't do a post yesterday. Now you can all see why I chose the NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) logo that says "30 posts in 30 days." While I think that posting everyday is a wonderful idea, that doesn't change the fact that I am lazy. Technically, "30 posts in 30 days" means "30 posts in 30 days", not "a post a day for 30 days," although that is the ideal. The reality is that I forget, procrastinate, even run out of things to say, if you can believe that! I promise to meet the quota, but obviously there are gonna be times when I have to post twice in one day in order to catch up with the people that are more NaBloPoMo committed than I.
Read post below as if it were posted yesterday :)
I live near a lake, which means that there is a constant flow of pedestrians in front of my house on any given day. Needless to say, it is annoying and entertaining all at once. Here are some of my faves. I wish I had pics to show you, but I just never happen to be sitting in the yard with a camera when these people walk (or run, jog, attempt to run) past.
80's jogger guy
Preferred method of moving: slow jog. Very slow jog. He thinks he is really movin' it, and is usually sweaty.
Apperal: In summer months, you can catch this guy sporting terry cloth daisy dukes with matching cotton blend tank top and fuzzy headband. During winter, he wears the summer outfits with tights or long johns.
What makes him noteworthy: This guy has to be at least 70. He does this run around the lake (1.6 miles) daily. He looks like an idiot and he doesn't care. He sees no need to update his wardrobe to keep up with the more trendy joggers. He's frugal, and I can identify with that. I admire his tenacity and the fact that he lets my dog bark like an madman at him, and he doesn't even give the dog a glance. He's crazy, he doesn't care that my dog is crazy, therefor he is one of my fave neighborhood pedestrians (FNP).
Dr. M (won't give his full name because he is lawsuit happy)
Preferred method of moving: Haulin ass
Apperal: If his coworkers saw this shit they would puke.
What makes him noteworthy: The fact that he attacked my dog when the dog weighed about 4 pounds. This guy was my doc for a while, and always seemed so soft-spoken. Who would think that he would be scared of a tiny dog? Also he has a nasty habit of wiping the sweat from his face with his shirt, showing the excessive amount of hair on his belly. Hopefully it is evident why he is no longer my doctor. One should never see their own doctor's belly hair, or have to scream at them for launching a rock at a puppy.
Mrs. Jennings
Preferred method of moving: She, and her walker, move slow.
Apperal: moo moo
What makes her noteworthy: see "preferred method of moving." This lady doesn't mind causing a traffic jam to get her daily exercise and I hope that I am that active when I am her age, which I estimate to be somewhere near 114. Seriously though, she is really cute.
I could go on all day, but my hand is starting to hurt, so only one more. Sorry. I know you are disappointed.
"Where in the hell is his mother?" kid
Preferred method of moving: he has progressed from tricycle, to bicycle with training wheels, and this year, he ditched the training wheels.
Apperal: Whatever fits, no regard to climate. Enjoys traveling sans shoes.
What makes him noteworthy: I have watched this kid grow up during the years that I have lived in this house and I have never once seen an adult with him. He was about 4 when we moved in, and it was so scary to see him ride around on a tricycle in the middle of a curvy public road. For four years now, I have resisted the urge to follow him home, grab his parent(s)/guardian(s) and scream "CHERISH YOUR CHILD!!!" in their face.
Ok, thats it. If you actually read this far, thank you!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
FIRST~ I have been dying to make a comment on this but keep forgetting... I LOVE how every time I want to read your blog I have to click on a box that I understand your blog may have adult content. HAHAHA...your blog has a warning message.
SECOND~ This is something else I have wanted to leave you a comment about but keep forgetting (hmmm...wonder why I have this little "forgetting" problem). I ADORE the statement your Gramma Neal made about you!!! ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT! I'm sure it makes you smile every time you read that quote...
THIRD~ Yea, it was Matt, in Beverly Lungsford's Junior English class (by-the-way thanks EHHS for letting her teach HONORS English...smart move), who jokingly "called me out" that I DEFINITELY would not suffer in silence and bear my sin alone when someone else helped get me into a particular situation in the first place. I also think he was referring to that plain and simple fact that "If I fall you're coming down with me" attitude I usually have. Hell yea... I'll bring down the whole damn town!
NOW ABOUT YOUR ENTRY~ I envy your writing creativity. I simply love how you described everyone in "baseball" card format. Hysterical. I read this thinking... I wish I lived where Rachel and Matt do. I would totally be community watch and sit outside with my coffee (or choice of adult beverage) and a pack of cigs and just watch. I will admit that I am a people watcher... I also make up stories about them and who they are, what they're doing, etc. (that kinda makes me sound like a weirdo).
Oh, I also replied on my blog to the comment you left me. I don't know if it notifies you or what if I write back... ?!! Still learning.
Megan,
That warning message is for extremely religious relatives. I encourage them to read my writing, but they have been warned and I don't wanna hear any bitchin about my language or liberal views.
About the quote from Gramma, she said that to a guy I was dating the first time she met him!! And my gramma talked VERY slow, and she was VERY opinionated, so its just funny to think that she criticized me as talking too fast and saying too much. She had the same problem, she just did it slowly. And yes, I love being reminded of it everyday. My gramma was simply wonderful.
Thank you so much for the compliments on my writing :) Thats so sweet. I do spend a lot of time in the summer outside at the patio table with a drink, cigarettes and wearing a bikini. I bet the people who walk past here write about me in their blog. This year we got a kiddie pool in the back yard and we spent a LOT of time back there. Me and Matt would both get in, and then let both dogs get in with us. You should have seen the way the pedestrians looked at us, two grown ass people sitting in a kiddie pool with two dogs on floats. It was great :)
Post a Comment